Jude Cowell's '2012 GOP Candidates' Poetry Round-Up

Here's the lovely Zasha waiting patiently in her favorite window for Santa to arrive! She does look a little ticked though, doesn't she? ;p

Well, she couldn't be as ticked as the American people who've been swamped by months of Republican debates on TV (or what passes for debates these days) with a gigantic field of candidates clamoring for the RNC 2012 presidential nomination. It's been quite a fatiguing onslaught, hasn't it?

Then there's the constant atmosphere of gridlock and my-way-or-the-highway attitudes made special by the Tea Party congressmembers who simply adore shutting down the government to make a point and whose party insists on forcing austerity measures upon the Americans who can least afford the cuts while the rich and favored take all the goodies Washington can dish out.

Well, around here, defensive action had to be taken so in no particular order, I've created a mildly mocking limerick for each candidate--those who are still standing, those who have dearly departed...and one who may represent a GOP dream come true for warring neocons!

Forgotten is slick Herman Cain
so eager to mount his campaign
but ladies did cry
your hand on my thigh
makes White House pretentions insane.


A Perry dilemma occurred
he couldn't remember the third
his future now droops
because of an Oops
no longer his favorite word.


Young Rick Don't You Google Santorum
was seen several times in a forum
not much does he say
few turns come his way
those prez dreams he may as well store 'em.


In China Jon Huntsman was king
he spoke like they speak in Beijing
but chit chat aside
a nominee's ride
must soar like an eagle on wing.


Michele courts the church-going vote
dominionists in a big boat
her eyes on the prize
can sure hypnotize
fun gaffes but that's all that she wrote.


A president Mitt would be weird
like Abraham Lincoln sans beard
this one percent shill
gold coffers to fill
the rest of us sheep staying sheared.


Newt's launch to the stars went kaput
can't seem not to shoot self in foot
force poor kids to clean
sounds scrooge-like and mean
beware rug rats covered in soot.


You noticed Ron Paul runs again
it does no one good to pretend
kids like him a lot
no drug war on pot
and perchance the Fed meets its end.


If Jeb Bush jumps into the race
to help GOPers save face
would people be glad
he'd rule like his dad
while keeping that globalist pace?


(c) jude cowell 2011-2012

Share but please attribute!


And in case you're an American who's as frustrated with the anti-government, self-destructive style of Capitol Hill politics now being practiced as I am, here's a closing 'bonus' rhyme of a significantly groanworthy nature which hopefully isn't as annoying as Washington politicians:


For office you voted a goon
who jets off to France every June
he feasts on your dime
while dealing in slime
his ear to your needs unattuned.

jc 2011--2012

And that's my overview of Washington DC, my former residence, for December 2011. May the year 2012 not be as bad for the world as everyone expects! Jude

~:~

Did you know there's a drive to rid the US of the corporate-infused Citizens United SCOTUS decision of 2010? Actually, Thom Hartmann talks a lot about it so you may wish to allow him to inform you on the topic.

Thom and others are planning to take part in an Occupy the Supreme Court and federal courts action across the land to mark the second anniversary on January 20, 2012 of Citizens United--as I believe dissenting Americans who love their country should!

A Poem for Herman Cain (w video)

Thrills, chills, but now spills for Herman Cain and here's a cozy Zasha the Russian Blue looking highly critical of the following verse penned by yours truly since Mr. A. Cat seems to have flown the Lim's Limericks coop--my cat Lim hasn't heard from Mr. A. in months--no limerick or nuthin'. Nary a peep.

Actually, I think our fluffy Zasha, sad about the Cain campaign's flop-over yesterday from romantic scandals and sexy accusations, was leaning toward voting for Herman in November 2012 but that's mainly because no one has had the heart to tell her that cats can't legally vote in America...she'll be Very Displeased when she finds that out...

We say Farewell to Herman Cain
whose sins belied his prez campaign
he had to know before he started
love would leave him broken hearted!

jc, the typist (c)2011

~:~

More info, images, and videos are available at Dreamyfish Art, Two Hours You'll Never Get Back, Secret Moon Art, and my 'flagship blog' Stars Over Washington where you may discover many things such as articles on the natal horoscopes of Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Mitt Romney, and other political thespians who thrill and chill.

Soon to be published at SO'W is the Horoscope for Winter Solstice 2011, set for the White House.

Meanwhile, if you get a bit lost while moseying around SO'W, simply scroll to the sidebar Search Field and type in the name of your candidate of interest, or topic of choice. Note that neither thrills nor chills can be guaranteed by this blogger!


Well, here's Cain's announcement December 3, 2011, Atlanta, GA:



Our comedians are really going to miss the Hermster!

~:~

Zasha photo by photographer and fiberista Maya Henderson.

Mitt Romney 2012 (a limerick)

Here you see the lovely Zasha chillaxin' in her favorite spot but my roommate Lim has heard not one whisper or meow for months from our secret agent at large Mr. A. Cat who normally scratches out the political limericks around here.

So with the 2012 campaign already looming over our noggins and assaulting our ears, it seems incumbent upon me as this blog's typist to try my paw at a timely if awful verse!

Is this limerick a prediction in disguise? Maybe!

After all, in America money talks most loudly and Mr. Romney is ranked highest in campaign contributions from the big bankers so far...

Don't mess with the kitten called Mitt
whose campaign survives every hit
since Perry and Cain
are crazy insane
it looks like the Mormon is it.

jc 2011

Poem: Talks of Debt (plus, a Fond Farewell)

Here's a photo of sweet, snoozy Gracie Kitty all cuddled up with her favorite bunny book. But sadly I must report to you that Lim's Limericks and family no longer have 17-year-old Gracie about the place due to a suddenly-worsening kidney condition.

R.I.P., dear Princess Grace: for 17 years you were the best kitty girl 24/7.


Then another sad topic has to be the Debt Talks (negotiations) going on now in Washington DC between the president and the GOP, a stand-off that has placed the US on the brink of debt default. So perhaps you'll issue a pardon if I publish quite an awful rhyme that just occurred to me. Well, what do you expect? I am only the typist here, y'know! And Mr. A. Cat hasn't sent along a new limerick to my roommate Lim in weeks...

With talks of debt
we haven't yet
found Washington sublime
they must address the bigger mess:
on whom to spend our dime

we're broke! we're not!
the fur doth fly
round White House meeting room
if D and R take things too far?
America kaboom!

jc 2011

Well, I hope the title of this post isn't prophetic on some weird level for it's meant to announce my melancholy at the passing of Gracie Kitty and not as a 'fond farewell' to our ill-governed and tattered nation.

If you'd like to read about debt talks and defaults as they relate to the natal horoscope of Rep. Eric Cantor, please be my guest. And be advised that if you don't speak 'astrologese' not to fret for I always compose and type in English!

Maru in a Box! (an Ingenious Kitty video)

Sad to report to you that no limericks have come in recently from Mr. A. Cat but my cat Lim gives his hearty permission to post his favorite video of a Box and Maru 8 on this blog...enjoy Maru, a beautiful yet totally determined kitty!

The R v D Thing (a limerick)

Here's sassy Miss Roxy pausing in the shadows and wondering, what's up with America?

Meanwhile, Mr. A. Cat, our erstwhile and official limerick writer who's been deeply undercover in foreign climes of late and totally missed posting a verse in March 2011 (he sends his sincere apologies), has just telegraphed my roommate Lim with a fresh ditty for immediate publishing.

Apparently Mr. A. has been paying attention to the ongoing 'budget impasse' performances being played out on Capitol Hill and since I'm the one with the typing fingers, here it is just for you:


The R v D thing is old
in spite of political gold
the ruling elite
have things rather sweet
our national future's been sold.
Mr. A. Cat, Esq

~:~

Thanks, Mr. A! Your feline instincts for politics are always welcome here! jc

For furr-ther reading you may wish to try: New World Order 2012.

A Kitten of Egypt (a limerick)

As you know, felines are associated with the zodiacal Leo, ruled by the Sun and sign of the proud Lion and natural ruler. Egypt has traditionally been enamored of cats to the point of mummifying them so perhaps you're familiar with the ancient Egyptian cat goddess Bastet, aka, Bast.

Plus, some say the human-headed Sphinx has the body of a lion, while others say its body is a dog which, if true, links the ancient and mysterious monument to Fixed Star Sirius, the Dog Star. The World Mysteries website gives details, too. Hmm...lion? Or dog? Rrraorwww-r-r-r!

There was even a mythical version of the Sphinx in Greece that sparked the famous Riddle of the Sphinx which Oedipus successfully solved. Can you?

And although our favorite political limerick author, Mr. A. Cat (an agent formerly in service to our nation), has no intention of ever being mummified or deified, he alerts us that he is very concerned about the current events in Egypt as millions of Egyptians band together (since Jan 25) in a valiant attempt to disgorge Hosni Mubarak from power and demand that a democratic government be established.

Excellent coverage of the goings-on may be found in many places online, but Mr. A., Lim, and I personally recommend Democracy Now! for daily updated information, videos, and commentary on the unfolding events.

Given all this, Lim and I were unsurprised today to receive a secret cable from Mr. A. Cat containing a new and topical limerick for our consideration. This rhyme must, of course, be typed and published here by yours truly since cats possess many fine features...but typing fingers are not among them:

A Kitten of Egypt did cower
regime under threat by the hour
an uprising strong
says You've stayed too long
abusing your office of power.

Mr. A. Cat

(from an undisclosed location under a distant porch or veranda)

We here at Lim's Limericks send our fervent hopes for Peace and Safety to the good people of Egypt who've endured many hardships during 30+ years of Mubarak's oppressive regime. Scat!

jc, the typist

~:~

ps: you'll find my own Political Astrology entries concerning the uprising in Egypt including Egypt's natal charts (1922 and 1953) @ Stars Over Washington. There you'll see a YOD (Finger of God planetary pattern indicating a crisis and/or turning point) in Egypt's progressed chart set for late January 2011 which points toward Egypt's progressed Moon (the people) showing that the population is on the brink and has had all it can take.

And on a lighter note, here is our lovely Zasha patiently waiting for improvement while looking more than a little piqued!

A Kitten Is Visiting Yemen (limerick)

Oh dear! I was not expecting this morning to receive a fresh missive from Mr.A. Cat containing a limerick which he and Lim insist I type for you even though it concerns a hotbed region of the world, Yemen, which is possibly the poorest country in the Near East. Yemen is located south of Saudi Arabia and as with most nations, someone at the top possesses and receives money leaving the regular folk to do without even life's basics.

Here's a brief look at the natal horoscope of South Yemen in case you're interested.

Now for Mr. A. Cat's latest limerick (and don't say you weren't warned!):

A kitten is visiting Yemen
in spite of its treatment of women
she'll fly in a while
American style
from which her diplomacy's stemmin'.

Mr. A. Cat

(as sent from an unknown, undisclosed location under a distant porch, terrace, or veranda)

~:~

Blog Note: remember you are cordially invited to check out my own science-y/poem-y blog Woolly Mammoth Chronicles where my cautious Capricorn personality expresses in rhyme many personal misgivings about the wisdom of cloning an Ice Age woolly mammoth back to life; Science News, links, and videos are included!

Jude, the typist at Lim's Limericks

Now here's a snapshot of a sleepy-eyed Roxy winking at you!

A WkiLeaks limerick for Dec 25, 2010

Merry Christmas, all you Cats and Kitties!

My roomie cat Lim and his pal Mr. A. Cat (an agent formerly in service to our nation, now secluded under an undisclosed porch or terrace), collude to bring you a new limerick sent by cable (as usual, and most appropriately!) from Mr. A. and for which Lim begs my typing ability to take a little publishing action upon.

Yes, Mr. A. has previously shown partiality for astrological indicators and the recent Lunar Eclipse 29Gem21 occurred just hours away from Winter Solstice 2010 when the Sun entered Capricorn, sign of government, law, and business.

It is rare that these two celestial events manifested upon the same day, so it's understandable that our curious limerick writer, Mr. A., should take note and ponder such synchronicitous happenings.

Forthwith, I shall attend my keyboard and comply:

A Solstice and Lunar Eclipse
for twenty-ten joined at the hips
bring issues of war
and secrets galore
with WikiLeaks on all their lips.

Mr. A. Cat, Esq
Dec 25, 2010

~:~

A Note from Jude the Obscure Typist:

A Lunar Eclipse at a crisis 29th degree may indicate market crises or increased financial difficulties for the US government, along with critical communications dilemmas - such as WikiLeaks and its promised-in-January-2011 leaks of documents concerning Bank of America. This could join financial loss with secrets-leaking and make the Dec 21, 2010 Lunar Eclipse a major player in the collective as we enter 2011 and head directly for a Solar Eclipse on Jan 4, 2011 @ 13Cap38 opposing US natal Sun (the leader.)

You are cordially invited to read of more such topics at Stars Over Washington where you'll find plenty of political and corporate varmints...but at least you'll have no cats underfoot! jc

Assange the Limerick

Sweet Gracie Kitty is snugged around her *Bunny Book, thereby displaying a distinct if sleepy yen to avoid having anything to do with the following new rhymery which concerns WikiLeaks founder and whistle blower extraordinaire, Julian Assange.

Actually, I think it was my roomie cat Lim who scratched out this particular limerick rather than receiving it by the usual cable sent from afar by the mysteriously elusive Mr. A. Cat (an agent formerly in service to our nation) who authors and inspires all of the political poetry plunked upon this blog for your groanworthy consideration.

So go ahead and set your Groanworthy Meter way high for we'll soon begin!

And me? Why, I'm only the typist around here...

Assange the Limerick

There once was a publishing cat
with documents stuffed in his hat
by name of Assange
he kept a melange
of targets we call diplomat.

Lim 12.11.10 as typed by Jude Cowell

*Jude here: for bunny tales, I also recommend The Runaway Bunny which is not a reference to Mr. Assange's whereabouts, then, now, or in future...

Your Invitation! Mosey on by my latest science-y/poem-y blog Woolly Mammoth Chronicles as you may and in your own time! You'll find that Odes to a Woolly Mammoth tend to appear there along with Science News and videos of quaint interest.

And while there, remember to cast your vote in the Woolly Mammoth (Cloning) poll, upper right, if you care to venture an opinion!

~:~

There's another poll ongoing, upper right, which concerns the prosecution of Julian Assange so join in and speak out, if you wish @ Stars Over Washington.

How We'll Save America (in rhyme)

Here's Roxy Kitty lookin' snoozy about the whole thing...and here's a rhyme I put together as the Lame Duck session of Congress readies to open Monday, November 15, 2010 with new members from the Nov 2 midterm elections joining in the fray:

With NPR gone GOP
Obama tacking right
America must now be saved by
we-the-people's might!

jc

For my brief astro-peek (written in English) at the Lame Duck Session of Congress, November 15, 2010, you may wish to visit Stars Over Washington for today's post. Madame Curie and Long John Silver await you...

Midterm Elections 2010 Blues

Zasha stretched, then walked out of the room when I said I was about to type the following verse in honor of Midterm Elections 2010, a political brou ha ha that dawns in a few hours. With Mr. A. Cat, this blog's Number One muse out of touch and probably out of the country, I have ill-advisedly taken things into my own paws and jotted down a ditty...it's the Midterm Elections 2010 Blues.

Why Blues? Because that sinking feeling of the game being rigged never leaves me now that I've seen what a misguided America can do. And the intuition is never so strong as when I step away from the "ballot box" which has morphed into nothing more than a computer monitor hooked up to a wizard behind a screen.

So here goes. I tremble for my country as 2010 comes to a close. And I hope your groanworthiness meter has been recently calibrated because you'll need it:

Midterm Elections 2010 Blues

GOP like drunken sailors
spent like whoppers lied some whalers

Give them back the key for turning
toward the White House they are yearning

Factions left and wing on right
a mighty power frames the fight

Though Dems be older siblings still
the Rs would rule on Cap'tol Hill

With claws aflash and teapots steaming
watch the video it's streaming

Intrigue dark around a shoulder
DC couldn't be much colder

Yet no matter whose side wins it
no one spins like DC spins it

Take a break from politics
(behind our backs they call us hicks.)

jc 11.2.10 2:25 am edt